Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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