Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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