I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
