babies were throwing up all over the place
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Please don't give away my fajitas
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
