I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
