just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
