Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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