i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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