My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
