mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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