Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
