I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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