The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
