hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
