Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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