They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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