I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
