she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
