I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will be naked everywhere
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
