you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
