dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
