but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My life is pants optional.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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