Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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