hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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