There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
