this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
