If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
