he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
