we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
