I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
