And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
