your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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