what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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