I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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