sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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