Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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