This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
