Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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