shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
