Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
