I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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