you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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