maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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