Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
