after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
