I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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