Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
