I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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