you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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