are you so shy because you have an std?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
