Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
