I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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