..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
do herpes really smell.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
