love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
